By Biko Agozino
Two years ago, a childhood friend sent me a copy of his manuscript on 'Christian Marriage' for comments. In the light of current controversies in the Catholic Church and Baptist Churches, I have decided to share my comments without naming the author of the manuscript:
Dear Brother,
Your book manuscript shows that you did a lot of research and it must have taken you a long time to draft but I have questions about the extent of the right-wing ideology you seem to share. My first question is whether you are trying to write one book or two different books? It seems to me that your focus on Christian marriage is a separate book from your critique of same-sex marriage. Writing both books at once may have introduced some contradictions in your reasoning. Concentrating on Christian marriage could have allowed you to critique the arbitrary rule imposing celibacy on Catholic priests and on women religious whether they like it or not (Pope Francis recently conceded that some priests and nuns from cultures that value familyhood can be allowed to marry). The Catechism book also stipulates that a girl of 14 years is old enough to get married in Igboland because their culture allows that but in the modern world, that is pedophilia. That section of the teachings about the sacrament of matrimony is in urgent need of revision.
Why focus on same-sex marriage as a part of a book on Christian marriage? Is Christian marriage being threatened by same-sex marriage in Africa or is sex abuse a greater threat? The fear of same-sex marriage comes across as homophobia in your book because the fear seems irrational. When Nzeogwu broadcast the first coup in Nigeria in 1966 by stating that homosexuals will be shot, people wondered why that was a priority for him; did the European officers rape the cadets to humiliate them in the military schools?
But seriously, those of us who have chosen heterosexuality should not be like the Pharisee who prayed to thank God that he was not as sinful as the tax-collector who was on his knees showing repentance. We should pray for the forgiveness of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Boko Haram terrorists are also homophobic but have no qualms about kidnapping children for sex slavery.
Another question for you is why Africans never made any laws against same-sex relations until foreigners invaded Africa and imposed such laws? In other words, there was no homophobia in Africa until Arabs and Europeans introduced such irrational fear. For instance, Joe Nwa Nlecha (nick name for Joe the proud child) dressed like a woman in our village but nobody was afraid of him. Also in our village, there is a woman who is married to another woman and yet nobody is offended by that. If your book had focused on that woman who is married to another woman, if you had interviewed her and her female husband, you may have had something original to contribute to the same-sex marriage debate by emphasizing that the Igbo are more tolerant of different family orientations than Europeans and Arabs (see Ifi Amadiume, Male Daughters: Female Husbands).
Since Igbo men dress like women to bring out the Agbomma masquerades and Yoruba men do the same to bring out Gelede masquerades, it is obvious that our people had no homophobia as part of our traditions. When Gideon Orkar tried to justify his abortive regional coup in 1992 with allegations of a homosexuality-centered military administration, Nigerian masses wondered what he was banging on about. The law signed by President Jonathan outlawing same-sex marriage raises questions as to why this was a priority of the most corrupt and incompetent government in Nigeria where individuals stole billions of public funds with impunity and Boko Haram kidnapped 300 school girls to be raped without any outrage from Jonathan. In the Northern part of the country under Sharia law, men could be stoned to death for dressing like women.
Criminologists suggest that such repressive laws tend to increase violence in the society by encouraging men to attack other men on the suspicion that they love other men. During the genocide against the Igbo in Biafra following the homophobic coup announcement of Nzeogu, 3.1 million people died but none of them was suspected of being gay. The ISIS terrorists were also mobilized with homophobia but hardly any of the hundreds of thousands killed was accused of being homosexual. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere, said Martin Luther King Jr whose march on Washington was organized by an openly gay black man. Hitler started his campaign of intolerance by focusing on homosexuals but in the end, 60 million people died in the second imperialist world war over which European nation would have more colonies in Africa.
Our people had more important struggles to worry about than who people chose to fall in love with or how they loved others – we faced the genocidal slave raids for 400 years and we resisted by recruiting every able-bodied man and woman to help us to survive. During the Biafra war, we did not ask soldiers whether they were gay or straight because the only important thing was whether they were ready to defend our people. Bill Clinton was the one who tried to compromise the exclusion of gay people from the military by changing the law to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell but service men and women continued to be discharged if suspected of same-sex relations. President Obama ended that discrimination because what matters is whether troops were able to defend their country and not who they choose to love but President Trump reimposed the ban on transgender officers in the military. The US Supreme Court also ruled that the Defense of Marriage Act signed by Bush was unconstitutional for trying to prevent same-sex marriage because it deprived two consenting adults who love each other from being admitted to hospital as a family member to care for their sick loved one or from inheriting property or from filing tax returns as a married couple – not much to do with sex. If the Europeans who imposed homophobic laws on Africans have since abolished such laws in Europe, why are Africans who have bigger fishes of poverty, violence and corruption to fry so obsessed about retaining the homophobic laws of imperialism? Colonial Mentality!
You claim that Trump is on your side simply because he ended the order by Obama that schools should allow children to use the bathroom of their choice. But how is Trump going to enforce this policy change? Will there be an official in front of bathrooms checking the gender on the birth certificates of children before they are allowed to go to the bathrooms? Do you remember why Trump attacked the Pope on Twitter during his campaign for president? Pope Francis suggested that no one can be on the side of Christians if he hates immigrants, minorities, women and people with disability, is opposed to providing affordable healthcare to the poor, wants to grab women by their private parts, seeks to increase defense budgets and go to war to kill God’s children and is surrounded by arch racists. The man you claim to be on your side changed an Obama restriction on gun sales to people with mental illness to make it easier for gun makers to make a bigger profit at the expense of public safety.
You rail against drug abuse while Trump has vowed to crack down on 10 states that have legalized marijuana for recreational use based on voter ballots even though 26 other states have decriminalized it for medical use; Uruguay in South America has legalized it for recreational use; The Netherlands has decriminalized it since 1976 and Portugal since 1992; Italian Army grows medical marijuana and South Africa will be the first African country to legalize it for recreational use since, it is much safer than tobacco and alcohol. What do you think?
Finally, I was expecting your manuscript to show some Christian virtues by avoiding harsh judgment against your fellow men and women just because of who they love. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God. I expect you to be more humble, to be more merciful, and to be more charitable as a Christian. God is infinitely merciful and if he uses his grace to show charity to people in same-sex marriage, no Christian should take it upon himself to play god and call them ‘filth’ or call for them to be murdered. If God forgave Lot for committing incest with his daughters to have children after the destruction of Sodom, if Joseph could forgive his brothers for selling him into slavery, if Christ could forgive those who crucified him, if the igbo could forgive those who killed 3.1 million of our people in Biafra, if people of African descent could forgive those who enslaved millions of our people for hundreds of years, if Mandela could forgive apartheid officials; Archbishop Desmond Tutu concluded that God will not punish a Bishop or laity who is in a same-sex marriage if the person serves God to the best of his ability by loving all of God’s children without exception. According to Tutu, everyone deserves forgiveness and there is nothing that is unforgivable. Pope Francis is being attacked for publishing Amoris Laeticia or the joy of love in which he said that everyone deserves to be loved and that divorcees should not be excommunicated. The sun shines on all and not only on one sect, class, gender, or race.
Although I do not want to judge others, I believe that men who claim to love God but go about raping men, women, little girls and boys are much worse than adult men and women who agree to love each other. Feminists are not women who hate men, rather they include women who love men but believe that women are oppressed in patriarchal societies due to their gender. Surely, it will be better to end all systems of oppression instead of preaching hate against people who are in love with each other. Do you disagree or agree; why or why not?
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